Beauty of surrender !

Coming across myself in my own thoughts has been an everyday phenomenon for me after having rediscovered the lost spark! But whenever I happen to pay unpremeditated visits to all those precious moments that define the change I experience today, I miserably fail! I fail in binding the foundation of this change into a web of reasoning. I cannot help but marvel at the presence of a supreme power, a magical influence so powerful as to form a canopy, encircling me and protecting me. Being awake and very much alive to this beauty of surrender brings with it the joy of assurance. I celebrate this contentment and so goes the topic of this blog.

I allow myself to fly back to 2008-2009 grounds on the wings of memories. Deeply in love with the idea of researching and exploring Biotechnology, I was all set to take off my dream flight into the land of PhD. But as was destined to happen, on several occasions thereafter, through numerous unplanned discussions with both known and unknown faces, I was made to visualize the existence of an alternate tunnel, a passage that was for me to tread. I was ready to witness the turning of tides. But what triggered the transition? Who was shuffling the cards for me? What gave me the foresight? While struggling to find an answer, I revved up my engine for the challenge that was to come, a challenge by no means small or unimportant. With the passage of time, it brought up its formidable character. It became increasingly evident as to why it was to be feared.

But all along my walk through the jittery waters, I have been accompanied by a guiding force, an invisible hand nursing my dream and articulating it in the direction best suited for me. In my questions lay the answer. My flight is now about to land in an uncertain territory. Holding onto my passenger seat, I take a look around and find my mind and heart set to peace. Experiencing the magic every moment, I pray for the everlasting steadfast support and blessings of my family and friends that have been instrumental in fueling this drive.

Turning a new leaf

Twiddling my thumbs is what I have been up to lately, ever since I failed to hold onto my dreams. But today was certainly not supposed to be the day as usual. I could feel it right from the moment I opened my eyes. With sun rays smiling down to me and swaying curtains welcoming me I embraced the happy sensation. While, closing my eyes and hugging myself tight enough to prevent any escape of that fleeting moment, I began to cherish what had been for long missing in my life. I for one had stopped being myself. I knew today was a new day. Stepping into the preliminary stage (I demand an excuse for importing “preliminary” right from the examination papers. But, I found no other apt word. All management aspirants would sympathize for I have just been over with the written phase), I daintily entered the kitchen only to flap my eyes in amazement. My mother looking absolutely no less than a fairy queen sported a reassuring smile. I was by now convinced that the scary dream of being no one landing nowhere would never transpire into reality. I would never ever let that happen. A sense of belonging to oneself was homing in on me. Taking small steps towards my room, I felt being answered in silence. By the time I switched on my window into the world of friends waiting to gossip (For those who could not guess, I am talking about my computer), I was willing to lead my life with a new spirit. Uncertain but aware, I found myself doing what I am best at: making plans. Like the Indian Government, I am a strong recommender of setting up committees, drawing out plans (yes you are right in the given case I am the sole karta dharta) but unlike the government officials, at the risk of blowing my own trumpet, I admit, I am pretty good at implementation and execution. Although, only when the situation is demanding urgency and there is no escape route. Now, that sounds a little contradictory but just like any other student, I have my own way of playing away with words just to make sure I succeed in justifying almost everything. But today was supposed to be different and I was discovering and enjoying this by each passing moment. I was being drawn into the riveting beauty of silence. I was celebrating my new found friendship with silence. It was then, when one of my friends said hello through that window and I saw silence fading away through the shadows of those swaying curtains out of the kitchen window. Shattered out of no tangible reason, I decided to fight it out with that friend for disturbing me only to realize my folly of sending an open invitation by displaying the green dot. While replying out for courtesy sake, having forgotten she was not just any friend but my best friend, I witnessed yet another wonderful bond, a bond of togetherness. She was bringing me closer to myself. Having known me for uncountable moments, she understood me without me having to put it in words. It is on her suggestion that I am exploring the writer in me. Today is no doubt a special day. I have found in myself a new spark, a new reason to be. Although, it would not be easy to decipher and single out the source of this unabated happiness but this is surely the unfurling of a new chapter in my life. I intend to tread my life from now on with this renewed belief in myself. I would keep this burning magic alive.